The Royal Order of Silly Hats

The Battle of Lamure
Saving the World by Stealing a Child's Blanket

Croak used his ‘ring of feather fall’ to gently descend into the chasm, where he convinced Grandfather to allow himself to be turned into a tiny turtle with a high-pitched voice. He then used his ‘Fly’ scroll to return to the surface…

Meanwhile, the party ventured into Lamure and met a little old lady who begged them to tell the guard at Haysport about the cult running the town. Hunny was attacked by a small boy brandishing a stick; he was wearing a well-loved security blanket as a cloak, so Hoxie knocked him unconscious with the butt end of her dagger and stole it.

Blacksad climbed onto the roof of a cottage to see if he could see any cultists. Across the room from him, he spotted a noble called Edwin Elderberry who was painting the Grand Leak. Blacksad noticed that the tarp the noble was standing on was purple, so he leaped across and convinced Edwin to give it to him. The party crafted the tarp into disguises.
From there, Blacksad, Hunny, Hoxie, and Ruick went to the precipice over the Grand Leak, the spot where Zeke told Micah to meet him. Under falling darkness, a storm built. Lightning snaked through the clouds. A hooded figure stood at the tip of the rocky outcropping. Behind him, Ginabelle floated unconscious in a bubble suspended in midair.

Keen-edge convinced the party to set him down in the ground and step back. He carried on a silent conversation with The Herald, who promised him something in return.
He handed over Ginabelle as a gesture of good faith. The party placed her on the back of Jenny’s pegasus and then asked it to take off, taking Ginabelle out of danger.

The Herald took up the sword and told the party that he would spare their lives. If they fled to high ground now, they might survive the night.

“I’m sorry,” said Keen-edge. “I made a deal to save your lives. This is how it has to be… You have no chance against him.”

The party refused to leave. Ruick tried to strike him with his magic book, but Zeke dodged it. Hoxie threw a knife, but it was deflected. Blacksad shot an arrow, but it missed.

With a flick of his hand, The Herald deluged the party under a tidal surge. He casually strode on the waves as they passed underfoot.

“I will not tolerate insolence,” said The Herald.

One by one, the party fled. Ruick took a potshot and missed—the herald retaliated with a ice storm that brought the party to its knees and left the ground slick with ice.

At that moment, Croak emerged from the chasm and confronted The Herald and Keen-edge. He told the party to run while he held off the enemy. The Herald disappeared in a puff of mist… and then Croak summoned Keen-edge, forcing his sword back into his hand against its will.

Keen-edge admitted that he had agreed to aid The Herald in exchange for him guaranteeing Ginabelle’s life in the coming flood. However, since she was out of danger, he agreed to tell the party how to disrupt the ritual. It was being conducted at the top of the tower: they would need to take out one of the mages casting the spell of wind or water or make the sacrifice unwilling.

The party decided to try to take out Shelley Bellemere, as she was the only mage with wind magic, while both Jenny and The Herald could cast water.

Croak took Gratherfather out of his pocket. He resumed normal size, and the party rode on the giant turtle’s back through the village. Without stealth or guile, they rode him to the tower and climbed in the third floor window.

Hoxie tried to roam the rooms for treasure, while Blacksad did his best to convince her that this was not the time: “It’s the end of the world and you’re looking for god-damned hats!”

She fell through the floor and landed in a room with a treasure chest. Blacksad shot an arrow at the chest, trying to convince her to leave it behind. The startled mimic attacked, chomping on Hoxie. Hunny jumped down to save her friend. After the mimic was dead, they found a ten foot silver flamingo statue inside its belly.

Meaningwhile, Croak swung across a hole in the ground. He and Ruick reached the next floor, where Croak convinced the kobolds to abandon the tower and join Grandfather. Hunny rejoined them. Croak noticed that the walls of the maze on this floor were of newer stone than the walls of the tower, so he told the party to search for secret passages. Hunny smashed the wall instead.

On the fifth floor, the party found The Herald, Jenny, and Shelley Bellemere. Keen-edge, floating into the air, took a swing at Croak. But his aim was not true. Through their mental link, Keen-edge told him that he had to ‘keep up appearances’ to convince the Herald that he was working for him. He told the Herald that Croak had stolen him away.
As the party surrounded him, pelting him with projectiles, The Herald counterattacked them with shards of ice. Both Ruick and Hoxie went down. They lay unconscious, hovering on the verge of death. Shelley Bellemere blew Croak back with a blast of wind.
The Herald tried to move to a better position, but Croak struck him with Booming Blade. Hunny smashed the ground, which cracked under the bitter cold of the ice, and tore a hole under the Herald’s feet. But from below, he struck them with a massive thunderwave.

Croak ran across the floor and grabbed Jenny, though she struggled. He shouted, “Everyone get out of the windows, now!” Then he climbed to the next floor, put the ring on Jenny’s finger, and threw her off the roof. He shouted to Grandfather to destroy the tower and interrupt the ritual.

Hunny grabbed Hoxie and jumped out of a fifth-storey window, landing with a bone-crunching force. Luckily, her rage kept her standing when lesser half-orcs would have fallen. Blacksad rescued Ruick and jumped onto Grandfather’s back out the window. Mist escaped through the cracks of the tower.

The tower fell.

Croak survived, but lost an eye to falling debris. Keen-edge was snapped in half. He mental voice was silent.

Battered, bruised, but alive… the party faced The Grand Leak, hoping that they had done enough to interrupt the ritual.

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Riddles in Esterway
Do You Have to Solve a Riddle to Use the Washroom?

The party received a letter from Glink, telling them he was in trouble. At the same time, they received a letter from the Herald of Leviathan, threatening doom.

While fighting sentient plants, the party met Mithian, a bored teenager with a fay boyfriend and magic powers.

Mithian led the party to Esterway, which can only be accessed by a rope bridge over a moat filled with giant spiders. There they met a half-orc guard named Clog (and his pet Owlbear named Dog) who demanded that the party solve riddles before they could enter. With much cheating, the party were all able to answer their riddles and prove themselves to be true intellectuals worthy of entering the town.

In Esterway, no one may give directions through the town unless travelers answer riddles. The way to the tavern passed through the vineyard, where Hunny and Blacksad found Jenny’s wounded Pegasus. They calmed and healed it, and promised to rescue Jenny.

Ruick got drunk at the tavern, while the rest of the group headed to the library. Some stoners shared their wisdom on the way. Under the light of a glowing tree in the library courtyard, they asked the resident Sphinx where they could find Glen, the leader of the Order of the Gazing Seagull.

The Sphinx sighed and demanded that they solve a riddle in exchange for the information. The depressed Sphinx told them it secretly hated riddles, but was afraid to make a career change so late in life—deep down, it wanted to be a bard but its claws could not hold the instruments and its voice was too terrible to sing. But Blacksad offered it the friendship and encouragement it needed, telling it to chase its dreams. They exchanged info and became pen pals.

Croak approached Glen and offered him a diamond in exchange for two spells. Glen took the diamond upfront (as Croak trusted him) and told the party to rest overnight in an inn. He asked them if they really believed reality in a world where illusion magic can be conjured at will—what if reality itself is an illusion. The party’s minds were not expanded, so they went to bed. In the middle of the night, Keen Edge asked Croak for reassurance that Ginabelle would be okay.

In the morning, Croak picked up the spells that Glen promised would probably work. He also asked how Shan was doing, not that he had a daughter or anything. Croak flew on ahead on the back of the Pegasus, as he had a promise to keep to a giant turtle.
The rest of the party carried on through the woods, where they were ambushed by a carnivorous tree. Its vines dragged victims towards its hungry maw. Hunny lit the tree on fire by throwing a lit torch. Ruick tried to convince everyone to just leave (after all, the tree could not move and its vines only reached 30 feet.) However, Hunny charged in with Pumba to attack. Ruick and his horse were dragged in and his horse was devoured in a spray of blood. Pumba too was eaten, sending Hunny into a blind rage. She hacked and slashed, and was pulled into the tree’s mouth, where she hacked it apart from within as the rest of the party pelted the tree with spells and arrows. As they fled, the forest was engulfed in flames. Croak saw it burn from the distance and sent the Pegasus back to Esterway with a note to get help. Then he leaped into the Chasm.

As the moon rose on the horizon, the party reached Lamure, a sleepy town overlooking the Grand Leak.

Finally, they will confront Zeke, the Herald of Leviathan. If they fail to stop the cult’s ritual, the world will drown this very night.

Hunny: “Hey guys, can we just let the ritual happen? I want to see the dragon turtle fight Leviathan. Kaiju battle!”

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Never Negotiate with a Dragon Turtle
Whoops, Hunny broke the world

The party crawled through a crack in the cavern they found after defeating the Kobold hero. It led to a corpse and a message left by a dying dwarf.

They followed the cavern to a room filled with sand. Blacksad spotted a floating shield, so the party avoided ambush by a gelatinous cube. Hunny sent a panther she pulled out of her bag of tricks to investigate the cube, where it was devoured and killed by its acid.
The party managed to surround and kill the cube (though Croak was half-digested in the process). But they ended up locked inside the room. They discovered a word-puzzle on the door and were half-way to solving it when Rurik pressed a letter, electrocuting himself, and filling the room with water. Luckily, the party solved the puzzle before they drowned.

In the sand, they found a golden comb. It was a thing of beauty. It shone with a brilliant luster, its ruby eyes deep-faceted. All who gazed upon it knew that it was an object of true rarity, something that any thief would covet. It ended up in Rurik’s possession, as he was the only one present who would appreciate its fine dwarven artistry.

The party emerged into the light of the chasm. It was miles wide, filled with bleached coral, sand petrified into the ripples of a seafloor, and the wrecks of pirate ships. Hunny filled her bag of holding with coral (turns out coral pieces are worth 100GP.)

They caught up and interrogated the flying kobold, but he gave away little except that ‘grandfather’ was a prominent figure among their people.

Led by Croak, the party boldly approached the mound of golden coins they could see in the distance. There, an ancient dragon turtle (the one that the kobolds had called ‘grandfather’) demanded food. After arguing whether or not to offer the boar named Pumba (Hunny had pulled out of her bag of tricks), they decided to give it all of their rations. Croak brought a pile of meat and cheese to the turtle…

…and so the dragon turtle snatched Croak off the ground and held him hostage. He demanded the party turn over all their gold and treasure. Blacksad emptied his pockets, and Hunny begrudgingly handed over 20 GP. Rurik handed over the golden comb—and thus it fell into the dragon turtle’s plunder, never to be seen again. The dragon turtle got Croak to swear an oath that he would help him return to the surface, so he could ‘show that upjumped worm who rules the seas.’ He also swore to provide the dragon with food and prevent anyone from stealing his treasure.

Keen-edge led the party to the altar where Zeke (the Herald) had first gone mad. There, Hunny smashed an ancient crystal ball sitting on an altar shaped like a cresting wave. She saw a vision of a woman on a throne atop a mountain of skulls.

The party returned to Quartz Peak, where Croak immediately set about figuring out the logistics of feeding and moving an enormous turtle.

Gwen greeted them with unfortunate news: the guildmaster has gotten himself into trouble. Mont has him captive and he is in need of rescue.

…And then they also received a letter from Zeke, the Herald of Leviathan. He has Ginabelle, Keen-edge’s wife. On the night of the harvest moon, he will carry out the final ritual.

The party has only enough days left to reach one of these destinations.

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Odrick's Untimely Death
Sledding Down Stairs for Fun and Profit

The party placed the orbs on the indents in the statues around Quartz Peak. They felt a rumble underfoot and went to the guild hall to find the newly-opened door in the basement. There they met Gwen, who had come to investigate the sound. She had Shan heal up the party and posted a guard outside the door.

Everyone camped out in the store room at the top of the stairs, keeping an eye out for the cultists. In the middle of the night, the tripwire the party had left was set off. But they saw no one except a tiny, talkative crab.

In the morning, Hunnie convinced the party to ride a sled down the slick, ancient staircase. They lost control and had a to break suddenly to avoid a collapsed section of the staircase: Blacksad was thrown over the pile of rocks, landing alone on the other side…

Yellow eyes glared at him from the darkness. Before he could react, an umber hulk attacked, piercing Blacksad between his mandibles. Its intense gaze threw the party into a confused panic. They ran around without purpose, trying desperately to stop its attack.

…And then the umber hulk struck down Odrick. The others fought to drive the creature back, but they didn’t make it in time to stop it from skewering Odrick on its claw. But the party, fighting blindly to avoid being afflicted by its gaze, avenged his death.
Deciding to spare no time to bury Odrick, the party marched on. Blacksad carried his former friend’s corpse in a blanket.

At the foot of the stairwell, the party walked into an ambush. Explosives collapsed a section of cavern ahead of them, rushing them into the next room. There, they met a dwarf called ‘Rick.’ (This is the correct way to spell and pronounce this.) They convinced him to help lead them past the kobolds guarding the way ahead.

In the kobold’s den, the party encountered an old enemy… It was the survivor, the only kobold who had escaped from Hashi Island alive. He had trained long and hard to take revenge upon them (for like the whole week it has been since that fight). He lead a force of winged kobolds, which pelted the party with rocks and bombs.

(Hunny forgot there were pitfalls and fell down for a while, but she was fine.)
Ultimately, the ‘kobold hero’ begged for his life, and then tried to attack Croak with pocket sand. The party struck him down as he tried to crawl to safety.

…But not before a winged kobold managed to escape to warn Grandfather.

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Quartz Peak and the Guild
Solving Zelda Puzzles While Odrick Causes Trouble

The party finally made it to Quartz Peak!

Odrick started acting suspicious and buying salt to put in wells. Croak partially drowned him, then fellow guild-mate Shan helped to remove the curse through mysterious means.

The party figured out that the way to the chasm bottom was hidden in the guild-master’s basement. They deciphered an ancient riddle and went to the graveyard for some fake grave-robbing. They were attacked by some cultists and slaughtered them. Luckily, they had some graves at hand to bury them.

In the fake graves, they found five orbs. Now, they need only place them according to the terms of the ritual.

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The Hero of the Slums
Odrick Nearly Burns Down Haysport

Hunny left town on urgent business: an emergency petting zoo meeting.

Croak confronted guildmaster Glink, and came clean about what the party had done. Cap was pissed that they murdered his teenage crew, who he had been carefully raising to be counterfeiters and con artists. He demanded that they return Jenny to him.

At this point, everyone noticed that she had vanished—along with Odrick. Cap swore that if the party was still in town within 24 hours, he would strike against them as if they were Mont’s minions. Glink told the party to leave Haysport and return to Quartz Peak. In the meantime, he planned to visit his sister on Hashi Island.

Odrick, under the influence of the Leviathan mask, kidnapped Jenny and spirited her away towards the docks. Croak took the pegasus up into the sky above Haysport, where he spotted Odrick—who noticed him and ducked into a nearby shanty. Croak leaped off the pegasus onto the top of the building, and broke in through the balcony.

Odrick responded by lighting the house on fire, leaving Croak to rescue the family trapped inside. He managed to rescue the two children, as well as their parents. As he fled further towards the port, Odrick set the local fire hall alight. Croak ran into the fire hall to rescue the firedog, a Dalmatian. Sparks landed in Croak’s eye, blinding him. Even so, he burst out of a window and landed on the ground below. The dog piddled on him in gratitude.

Blacksad and Hoxie chased Odrick to the docks. At that very moment, Blacksad came face to face with Tim the Trustworthy. They locked eyes and Blacksad was left with dilemma: rescue Jenny or fight the man who had swindled him. He buried an arrow in Tim’s leg and then ran after Odrick.

Odrick reached the docks and handed Jenny off to Shelley Bellemere, the captain who had first taken the party to Hashi island. He then stood in a daze on the dock as the boat pulled away from the harbour.

Together, the party reached the docks. Blacksad healed Croak’s eyesight. He dove into the sea and emerged on Shelley’s boat (The Grandmother’s Rope.) Jenny was casually sitting on board. Unfortunately, before Croak could reach her, Shelley cast a spell and both she and Jenny disappeared into the wind.

Croak and Odrick ran to the slums to put out the fire he had started. Unfortunately, already 12 buildings had burned down. Odrick agreed to let Croak tie him up to avoid further harm.

Blacksad returned to the store where he had encountered Tim the Truthworthy. He followed the blood trail to the top of the stairs and found Tim crawling away. He read poetry before a captive audience and then he and Hoxie stripped Tim naked and stole his gold and fireflies. Tim handed over the bottled sprite, which had mysteriously come back to life. The sprite looked very sickly, though; whenever Hoxie tried to speak to it, it did nothing but vomit glitter. Blacksad put indigo, cloves, and a piece of amber into the jar. The fairly clutched the cloves and continued to vomit glitter. Hoxie threatened Tim and asked where his suitcase was—she found it under floorboards. It was filled with erotic photos of willow trees. It turns out that Tim really was an enthusiast of the forest.

The party returned to the inn to recover. There, Keen Edge confessed that a ‘spell of wind’ and a ‘spell of water’ were necessary components for the spell to call upon leviathan. The party deduced that the cult had nearly all they needed now to cast the spell again, except the ‘shell of a dragon turtle.’ Keen Edge told them that they could find the shells in the ‘dragon turtle graveyard’ at the bottom of the Chasm next to Quartz Peak. The party resolved to return home.

In the morning, they overheard people gossiping outside the inn. The city guard had captured two of Cap’s urchins (the ones that Hoxie had released from Cap’s base) and were planning to execute them in two day’s time. Hoxie convinced the party to rescue them.

Odrick came up with a brilliant plan: he allowed Croak to hand him over to the guards. (He was wanted in connection with the arson in the slums.) The town guard paid Croak 50 gold and looked upon him with great admiration for his deeds of heroism earlier in the day.

Hoxie and Blacksad sneaked into the barracks to break out Odrick. Unfortunately, Hoxie fell into a shrub and and caught the attention of two bandits hanging out in the courtyard. Blacksad and Hoxie quickly murdered them, but their deaths alerted the guards—it turned out that they were in Mont’s pocket and the executions were nothing but a plot to lure out Cap’s men. But since the guards were now on alert, Hoxie and Blacksad abandoned their plan to break out Odrick. In his cell in the dungeon of the barracks, Odrick waited…

…and his friends never came.

Dawn broke. Odrick and the two urchins were loaded in a horse-drawn wagon. Flanked by guards, they were escorted towards the execution platform. Croak, disguised as a beggar, followed alongside it. Blacksad climbed onto a rooftop to do some sniping—but there he encountered an enemy already lying in wait. He took out the crossbow-wielder before he could shoot. Across the road, another bandit threw a flask of oil onto the road. He lit this on fire.

In the chaos of combat, Blacksad managed to take control of the cart. He calmed the horses and called for the party to climb on board. Odrick broke out of the cart and freed his hands by breaking his thumbs. He was able to dampen the fire enough for the party to climb onto the wagon and make their escape.

On the road to Quartz Peak, the party encountered an invisible trickster. It showed them illusions of an ancient battle that had taken place in the woods, though the images were warped and silly. It forced Croak to tickle Blacksad, and temporarily turned Hoxie into a shrew. Blacksad offered cloves to the trickster and it showed itself—it was a fairy dragon, playing pranks on travelers. It accepted Blacksad’s offering and released the party from their spells.

Blacksad bought a tiny maul for Hunny at a souvenir shop by the road.
A white wolf growled menacingly at the party as they passed its cave, but Croak was having none of that shit. He threw the wolf some pieces of dried meat and earned its friendship.

The party finally reached Quartz Peak and earned 100 gold each.

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Meet Jenny the Mage
Stealing Birthday Presents

The party murdered nearly everyone in Cap’s underwater base, and then stole Frank’s birthday presents.

They confronted Jenny the mage—only to discover that the target Mont had sent them to kill had been a ten-year-old girl with a pet Pegasus. They managed to convince her to ‘go to the Festival of Masks’ in exchange for Blacksad’s crow mask. They walked along the river bottom, relying on Jenny’s bubble magic to hold back the river.

On the bridge, Croak, Blacksad, and Hoxie confronted Mont’s minion, Renard. They convinced him to tell Mont that they had died in the house raid, and learned that Mont planned to meet with him in two days outside the noble quarter.

At the festival, Hunny and Odrick witnessed a woman turned into a desiccated husk because she had removed one of the Leviathan masks. They searched for Jenny’s uncle, Cap, but were unable to find him.

The party reunited at the inn and sneaked in to check on Hunny’s pets (and to see if Mont had left anyone there ambush them).

…But when Blacksad and Hoxie cracked opened the door, they discovered their guildmaster, Glink Whistlesprocket, sitting down to tea with a stranger—Cap himself?

Croak’s last words were, “We have a problem.”

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Haysport
Murdering Teenagers Because Some Guy Told You To

The Royal Order of Silly Hats reached Haysport, a coastal town bisected by a river. They passed through the slums, where Blacksad was conned out of 10 Gold and a dead sprite by a man called `Tim the Trustworthy.` They visited Auntie Sally at her tea shop and left with an excessive quantity of cloves, some willowbark tea, and the method of decoding the journal they found back on the island.

Hoxie and Hunny broke into a locked shop and stole a hat, 10 gold, and the silver bracelet off a dead lady`s urn. There, they overheard someone whispering about a `water show.`Hoxie confronted them, and caught a street urchin working for Mont, a crimelord who she owes a favour for sheltering her family. She agrees to become involved in a hit on Cap`s underwater base.

At the Carnival of Masks, Blacksad bought more indigo than he will ever need, as well as two chunks of amber that the salesman told him would help inspire him to write really nice poetry. They returned to find `Tim the Trustworthy,`but he had already fled to the docks and left in a rowboat.

The party encountered lot of strangers wearing leviathan masks. They traced them back to the source and found out that someone sold them to a local stall to distribute. Odrick purchased one of the masks and put it on. Later on in the evening, he starts hallucinating sounds of rushing water.

Hoxie confronted Keen-Edge with the details of the journal and forced him to admit that he`s Micae Whistlesprocket, and that he is involved in the Deathist cult that is trying to flood the world. He agreed to cooperate with them under the condition that they bring him to the guildmaster. (Also, Hoxie promised to oil him with a cloth daily.)

At midnight, the party met on the bridge. Mont gave Hoxie a ring that repels water with a bubble. They infiltrated the underwater base belonging to Cap, with the intention of killing the wizard who keeps the building protected from the river. Inside, they murdered the teenage guards working for Cap. Croak chased down the chef who fled into the stable, and then tied him to a stool.

While slaying teenaged guards, Hunny made several suitable barbarian quips, which were quite hilarious:

`You will never hold your own child.`

`I will end his teenage dreams.`

(After knocking a severed head on the kitchen table.) `Dinner is served.`

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