The Royal Order of Silly Hats

Never Negotiate with a Dragon Turtle
Whoops, Hunny broke the world

The party crawled through a crack in the cavern they found after defeating the Kobold hero. It led to a corpse and a message left by a dying dwarf.

They followed the cavern to a room filled with sand. Blacksad spotted a floating shield, so the party avoided ambush by a gelatinous cube. Hunny sent a panther she pulled out of her bag of tricks to investigate the cube, where it was devoured and killed by its acid.
The party managed to surround and kill the cube (though Croak was half-digested in the process). But they ended up locked inside the room. They discovered a word-puzzle on the door and were half-way to solving it when Rurik pressed a letter, electrocuting himself, and filling the room with water. Luckily, the party solved the puzzle before they drowned.

In the sand, they found a golden comb. It was a thing of beauty. It shone with a brilliant luster, its ruby eyes deep-faceted. All who gazed upon it knew that it was an object of true rarity, something that any thief would covet. It ended up in Rurik’s possession, as he was the only one present who would appreciate its fine dwarven artistry.

The party emerged into the light of the chasm. It was miles wide, filled with bleached coral, sand petrified into the ripples of a seafloor, and the wrecks of pirate ships. Hunny filled her bag of holding with coral (turns out coral pieces are worth 100GP.)

They caught up and interrogated the flying kobold, but he gave away little except that ‘grandfather’ was a prominent figure among their people.

Led by Croak, the party boldly approached the mound of golden coins they could see in the distance. There, an ancient dragon turtle (the one that the kobolds had called ‘grandfather’) demanded food. After arguing whether or not to offer the boar named Pumba (Hunny had pulled out of her bag of tricks), they decided to give it all of their rations. Croak brought a pile of meat and cheese to the turtle…

…and so the dragon turtle snatched Croak off the ground and held him hostage. He demanded the party turn over all their gold and treasure. Blacksad emptied his pockets, and Hunny begrudgingly handed over 20 GP. Rurik handed over the golden comb—and thus it fell into the dragon turtle’s plunder, never to be seen again. The dragon turtle got Croak to swear an oath that he would help him return to the surface, so he could ‘show that upjumped worm who rules the seas.’ He also swore to provide the dragon with food and prevent anyone from stealing his treasure.

Keen-edge led the party to the altar where Zeke (the Herald) had first gone mad. There, Hunny smashed an ancient crystal ball sitting on an altar shaped like a cresting wave. She saw a vision of a woman on a throne atop a mountain of skulls.

The party returned to Quartz Peak, where Croak immediately set about figuring out the logistics of feeding and moving an enormous turtle.

Gwen greeted them with unfortunate news: the guildmaster has gotten himself into trouble. Mont has him captive and he is in need of rescue.

…And then they also received a letter from Zeke, the Herald of Leviathan. He has Ginabelle, Keen-edge’s wife. On the night of the harvest moon, he will carry out the final ritual.

The party has only enough days left to reach one of these destinations.

Odrick's Untimely Death
Sledding Down Stairs for Fun and Profit

The party placed the orbs on the indents in the statues around Quartz Peak. They felt a rumble underfoot and went to the guild hall to find the newly-opened door in the basement. There they met Gwen, who had come to investigate the sound. She had Shan heal up the party and posted a guard outside the door.

Everyone camped out in the store room at the top of the stairs, keeping an eye out for the cultists. In the middle of the night, the tripwire the party had left was set off. But they saw no one except a tiny, talkative crab.

In the morning, Hunnie convinced the party to ride a sled down the slick, ancient staircase. They lost control and had a to break suddenly to avoid a collapsed section of the staircase: Blacksad was thrown over the pile of rocks, landing alone on the other side…

Yellow eyes glared at him from the darkness. Before he could react, an umber hulk attacked, piercing Blacksad between his mandibles. Its intense gaze threw the party into a confused panic. They ran around without purpose, trying desperately to stop its attack.

…And then the umber hulk struck down Odrick. The others fought to drive the creature back, but they didn’t make it in time to stop it from skewering Odrick on its claw. But the party, fighting blindly to avoid being afflicted by its gaze, avenged his death.
Deciding to spare no time to bury Odrick, the party marched on. Blacksad carried his former friend’s corpse in a blanket.

At the foot of the stairwell, the party walked into an ambush. Explosives collapsed a section of cavern ahead of them, rushing them into the next room. There, they met a dwarf called ‘Rick.’ (This is the correct way to spell and pronounce this.) They convinced him to help lead them past the kobolds guarding the way ahead.

In the kobold’s den, the party encountered an old enemy… It was the survivor, the only kobold who had escaped from Hashi Island alive. He had trained long and hard to take revenge upon them (for like the whole week it has been since that fight). He lead a force of winged kobolds, which pelted the party with rocks and bombs.

(Hunny forgot there were pitfalls and fell down for a while, but she was fine.)
Ultimately, the ‘kobold hero’ begged for his life, and then tried to attack Croak with pocket sand. The party struck him down as he tried to crawl to safety.

…But not before a winged kobold managed to escape to warn Grandfather.

Quartz Peak and the Guild
Solving Zelda Puzzles While Odrick Causes Trouble

The party finally made it to Quartz Peak!

Odrick started acting suspicious and buying salt to put in wells. Croak partially drowned him, then fellow guild-mate Shan helped to remove the curse through mysterious means.

The party figured out that the way to the chasm bottom was hidden in the guild-master’s basement. They deciphered an ancient riddle and went to the graveyard for some fake grave-robbing. They were attacked by some cultists and slaughtered them. Luckily, they had some graves at hand to bury them.

In the fake graves, they found five orbs. Now, they need only place them according to the terms of the ritual.

The Hero of the Slums
Odrick Nearly Burns Down Haysport

Hunny left town on urgent business: an emergency petting zoo meeting.

Croak confronted guildmaster Glink, and came clean about what the party had done. Cap was pissed that they murdered his teenage crew, who he had been carefully raising to be counterfeiters and con artists. He demanded that they return Jenny to him.

At this point, everyone noticed that she had vanished—along with Odrick. Cap swore that if the party was still in town within 24 hours, he would strike against them as if they were Mont’s minions. Glink told the party to leave Haysport and return to Quartz Peak. In the meantime, he planned to visit his sister on Hashi Island.

Odrick, under the influence of the Leviathan mask, kidnapped Jenny and spirited her away towards the docks. Croak took the pegasus up into the sky above Haysport, where he spotted Odrick—who noticed him and ducked into a nearby shanty. Croak leaped off the pegasus onto the top of the building, and broke in through the balcony.

Odrick responded by lighting the house on fire, leaving Croak to rescue the family trapped inside. He managed to rescue the two children, as well as their parents. As he fled further towards the port, Odrick set the local fire hall alight. Croak ran into the fire hall to rescue the firedog, a Dalmatian. Sparks landed in Croak’s eye, blinding him. Even so, he burst out of a window and landed on the ground below. The dog piddled on him in gratitude.

Blacksad and Hoxie chased Odrick to the docks. At that very moment, Blacksad came face to face with Tim the Trustworthy. They locked eyes and Blacksad was left with dilemma: rescue Jenny or fight the man who had swindled him. He buried an arrow in Tim’s leg and then ran after Odrick.

Odrick reached the docks and handed Jenny off to Shelley Bellemere, the captain who had first taken the party to Hashi island. He then stood in a daze on the dock as the boat pulled away from the harbour.

Together, the party reached the docks. Blacksad healed Croak’s eyesight. He dove into the sea and emerged on Shelley’s boat (The Grandmother’s Rope.) Jenny was casually sitting on board. Unfortunately, before Croak could reach her, Shelley cast a spell and both she and Jenny disappeared into the wind.

Croak and Odrick ran to the slums to put out the fire he had started. Unfortunately, already 12 buildings had burned down. Odrick agreed to let Croak tie him up to avoid further harm.

Blacksad returned to the store where he had encountered Tim the Truthworthy. He followed the blood trail to the top of the stairs and found Tim crawling away. He read poetry before a captive audience and then he and Hoxie stripped Tim naked and stole his gold and fireflies. Tim handed over the bottled sprite, which had mysteriously come back to life. The sprite looked very sickly, though; whenever Hoxie tried to speak to it, it did nothing but vomit glitter. Blacksad put indigo, cloves, and a piece of amber into the jar. The fairly clutched the cloves and continued to vomit glitter. Hoxie threatened Tim and asked where his suitcase was—she found it under floorboards. It was filled with erotic photos of willow trees. It turns out that Tim really was an enthusiast of the forest.

The party returned to the inn to recover. There, Keen Edge confessed that a ‘spell of wind’ and a ‘spell of water’ were necessary components for the spell to call upon leviathan. The party deduced that the cult had nearly all they needed now to cast the spell again, except the ‘shell of a dragon turtle.’ Keen Edge told them that they could find the shells in the ‘dragon turtle graveyard’ at the bottom of the Chasm next to Quartz Peak. The party resolved to return home.

In the morning, they overheard people gossiping outside the inn. The city guard had captured two of Cap’s urchins (the ones that Hoxie had released from Cap’s base) and were planning to execute them in two day’s time. Hoxie convinced the party to rescue them.

Odrick came up with a brilliant plan: he allowed Croak to hand him over to the guards. (He was wanted in connection with the arson in the slums.) The town guard paid Croak 50 gold and looked upon him with great admiration for his deeds of heroism earlier in the day.

Hoxie and Blacksad sneaked into the barracks to break out Odrick. Unfortunately, Hoxie fell into a shrub and and caught the attention of two bandits hanging out in the courtyard. Blacksad and Hoxie quickly murdered them, but their deaths alerted the guards—it turned out that they were in Mont’s pocket and the executions were nothing but a plot to lure out Cap’s men. But since the guards were now on alert, Hoxie and Blacksad abandoned their plan to break out Odrick. In his cell in the dungeon of the barracks, Odrick waited…

…and his friends never came.

Dawn broke. Odrick and the two urchins were loaded in a horse-drawn wagon. Flanked by guards, they were escorted towards the execution platform. Croak, disguised as a beggar, followed alongside it. Blacksad climbed onto a rooftop to do some sniping—but there he encountered an enemy already lying in wait. He took out the crossbow-wielder before he could shoot. Across the road, another bandit threw a flask of oil onto the road. He lit this on fire.

In the chaos of combat, Blacksad managed to take control of the cart. He calmed the horses and called for the party to climb on board. Odrick broke out of the cart and freed his hands by breaking his thumbs. He was able to dampen the fire enough for the party to climb onto the wagon and make their escape.

On the road to Quartz Peak, the party encountered an invisible trickster. It showed them illusions of an ancient battle that had taken place in the woods, though the images were warped and silly. It forced Croak to tickle Blacksad, and temporarily turned Hoxie into a shrew. Blacksad offered cloves to the trickster and it showed itself—it was a fairy dragon, playing pranks on travelers. It accepted Blacksad’s offering and released the party from their spells.

Blacksad bought a tiny maul for Hunny at a souvenir shop by the road.
A white wolf growled menacingly at the party as they passed its cave, but Croak was having none of that shit. He threw the wolf some pieces of dried meat and earned its friendship.

The party finally reached Quartz Peak and earned 100 gold each.

Meet Jenny the Mage
Stealing Birthday Presents

The party murdered nearly everyone in Cap’s underwater base, and then stole Frank’s birthday presents.

They confronted Jenny the mage—only to discover that the target Mont had sent them to kill had been a ten-year-old girl with a pet Pegasus. They managed to convince her to ‘go to the Festival of Masks’ in exchange for Blacksad’s crow mask. They walked along the river bottom, relying on Jenny’s bubble magic to hold back the river.

On the bridge, Croak, Blacksad, and Hoxie confronted Mont’s minion, Renard. They convinced him to tell Mont that they had died in the house raid, and learned that Mont planned to meet with him in two days outside the noble quarter.

At the festival, Hunny and Odrick witnessed a woman turned into a desiccated husk because she had removed one of the Leviathan masks. They searched for Jenny’s uncle, Cap, but were unable to find him.

The party reunited at the inn and sneaked in to check on Hunny’s pets (and to see if Mont had left anyone there ambush them).

…But when Blacksad and Hoxie cracked opened the door, they discovered their guildmaster, Glink Whistlesprocket, sitting down to tea with a stranger—Cap himself?

Croak’s last words were, “We have a problem.”

Murdering Teenagers Because Some Guy Told You To

The Royal Order of Silly Hats reached Haysport, a coastal town bisected by a river. They passed through the slums, where Blacksad was conned out of 10 Gold and a dead sprite by a man called `Tim the Trustworthy.` They visited Auntie Sally at her tea shop and left with an excessive quantity of cloves, some willowbark tea, and the method of decoding the journal they found back on the island.

Hoxie and Hunny broke into a locked shop and stole a hat, 10 gold, and the silver bracelet off a dead lady`s urn. There, they overheard someone whispering about a `water show.`Hoxie confronted them, and caught a street urchin working for Mont, a crimelord who she owes a favour for sheltering her family. She agrees to become involved in a hit on Cap`s underwater base.

At the Carnival of Masks, Blacksad bought more indigo than he will ever need, as well as two chunks of amber that the salesman told him would help inspire him to write really nice poetry. They returned to find `Tim the Trustworthy,`but he had already fled to the docks and left in a rowboat.

The party encountered lot of strangers wearing leviathan masks. They traced them back to the source and found out that someone sold them to a local stall to distribute. Odrick purchased one of the masks and put it on. Later on in the evening, he starts hallucinating sounds of rushing water.

Hoxie confronted Keen-Edge with the details of the journal and forced him to admit that he`s Micae Whistlesprocket, and that he is involved in the Deathist cult that is trying to flood the world. He agreed to cooperate with them under the condition that they bring him to the guildmaster. (Also, Hoxie promised to oil him with a cloth daily.)

At midnight, the party met on the bridge. Mont gave Hoxie a ring that repels water with a bubble. They infiltrated the underwater base belonging to Cap, with the intention of killing the wizard who keeps the building protected from the river. Inside, they murdered the teenage guards working for Cap. Croak chased down the chef who fled into the stable, and then tied him to a stool.

While slaying teenaged guards, Hunny made several suitable barbarian quips, which were quite hilarious:

`You will never hold your own child.`

`I will end his teenage dreams.`

(After knocking a severed head on the kitchen table.) `Dinner is served.`


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